You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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