I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
