There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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