god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
