That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
