Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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