it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
