dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
