Your dad touched me again.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Michael Bay diarrhea
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
