In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
