I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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