someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize