I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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