She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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