Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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