Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
