What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
