the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
