East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
