I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
