dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The struggles of a small town man whore
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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