She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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