i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
FUCK WHALES
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
