i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
