Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
