the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Do vagina's smell?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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