Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
