I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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