Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
