Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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