I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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