Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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