who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
