we have officially lost it.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
