all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
organizing the empties. That sober.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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