ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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