I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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