Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
