Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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