I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
