i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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