GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
be right there i have to get my cape
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
