i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
whose ass print is on the piano?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
