What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
