Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
