Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
