im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
