Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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