so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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