she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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