sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
