There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
