that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Two words: nipple clamps
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