You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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